A Hobbit named Rukia
by ChocolateMooCow
Summary: The ramblings of 3 girls, two of which are obsessed with Bleach, with a few Hobbits, Ninjas and Harry Potter bits thrown in... it's better than this summary says! - Oh, and for those who may not get this story, take it with a pinch of salt ;D


okay, so, our first story, and like the summary say's, it's a bit . . . Jumbled with characters/other books, so hopefully a mixture of you readers will like this :D

Disclaimer - well, if we owned any of these stories we wouldn;t be writing on here we thinks xD

We hope you enjoy it!

The story by the three story people; Bethany, Eloise and Maddie

**This is the story that comes from three girls' imaginations when they are waiting for their turn on Guitar Hero:**

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><p>Three people sat in a room, a guitar with each, except of course for the one who's writing this, the occasional banter of the ones who have an Itch. One of these people, Eloise, sat silently undisturbed for several hours with little miss Bethany by her side. Last of all, the one and only Maddie who sat with leg pain, from a rare sitting on it, by someone who rarely plays the guitar was playing the guitar.<p>

But outside, electricity sizzled through the humid air as if something was to happen that night. The trees whispered amongst themselves, and the wind cried, "Mary, Mary, come home for tea! Mary, Mary, come home for tea!" A ruffled chocolate Labrador twitched its nose nervously, in anticipation. A tortoise shell kitten meowed, a note of anxiety in its young voice.

The kitten then noticed a strange fissure in the sky; a squealing, creaking, wrenching noise filled the air, as a humungous hand stretched the fissure until it tore open the sky. Out popped a yeowling mammoth. But only its bones. Ichigo ''strawberry'' Kurosaki sniffed the air. "T'is gonna be a t'wine night of difficulty tonight dear small hobbit" He looked towards Rukia, the hobbit. "Aye indeed Mr Gandalfious (for this was the Strawberry's secret name) tonight, the mammoth shall wed with the turbine." (Of course this was code, hobbit language for something much more uncanny)

**Later that night at approximately 21:45 Eloise asked if she and the others could do a 'lefty flip', but unfortunately the brown haired genius at Guitar Hero replied "Noooooo." So after that 'Little miss wanting to do the lefty flip' received unexpected hiccups. Soon after now at approximately 22:00 the two Guitar Hero's needed to press the star button on the guitars so that they would get extra points but Eloise **_**forgot**_** to tell them to do it so they did not. **

The chocolate Labrador padded cautiously over to the fissure, but at the sight of the kitten, he wheeled round and tore off in the opposite direction. Gelbert, the Labrador, sprinted into the forest as fast as his little legs could carry him. A niggling voice in his head worried about hitting trees, but Gelbert was accomplished enough not to crash into the trees. A jet black crow cawed over head.

Little did he know, as not to far ahead was a house, a big house, in fact a huge house. What could be lurking inside the massive building? Funnily enough it was the three guitar players from before playing on the Nintendo Wii, as well as that they were having a sleep over too. The gorgeous pup Gelbert lay on the bark, panting like never before. He slowly started to enter the house, through the door , up the stairs and into the bedroom.

Gelbert heard voices beside the girls with the Wii, so he pawed out through the door and took a peek. In the neighbouring room, Ichigo and Rukia discussed the previous night's events. "I swears the treees were crying Mary, I swears!" Gandalfious tried to persuade his hobbity friend that he wasn't actually crazy, but Rukia had her doubts.

A forest or two away, where Gelbert had run through, the crow squawked again, then swooped down and disappeared into the darkness. But a tall figure emerged from behind a tree, a murderous glare in his eye. In his fist, he clenched an aging piece of paper. He stalked through the forest and tripped over a fallen branch. As he dusted himself off, a ninja rabbit burrowed out of the ground and stopped him in his tracks. The ninja rabbit was secretly allied with Rukia, a new ninja hobbit. Rukia heard the rabbit's ears whisper to her and she saw the man in front of him. Gandalfious saw the change in expression on Rukia's face and asked her what was going on. The ninja hobbit didn't reply and her face returned to a normal(ish) expression. Then she said hurriedly, "Everything's fine Mr Gandalfious, I just needs to go now." She bounded out of the window, her hairy feet leaving trails of smell behind her. Gandalfious gazed in awey despair, not realising she was a ninja hobbit, but realising he was in love with her, and decided to follow her hairy feet and their odourous trail.

Meanwhile, in front of the ninja rabbit, Aizeoldemorto, a hairy man, stood. He was once a hobbit, but betrayed the Hobbit Code by growing too tall and becoming an evil changer of mammoth bones. He injected ketchup into them.

The Wii girls, whose identities later become known, packed up Guitar Hero and went on . The youngest was experimenting with chemistry explosions on her friends head, t'wilst t'other was writing. The experimentee was checking her phone, whilst the youngest twirled her friend's hair on a drumstick, but this did not work (she was trying to curl it). They were reminiscing over past sleepovers in tents and with couch cushions, but as each would have their own bed this time, their night would, no doubt, be cushier.

Rukia realised the crow-man and Aizeoldemoldomorto were of no importance right now, so she and the ninja rabbit leaped off towards the only light on the skyline. Upon closer inspection, Rukia noticed that three young girls were chatting, but one was typing on what humans call a laptop. Flippleberry-Finntwinkle, the ninja rabbit, hopped beside Rukia, and informed her that this window never draws its curtains, but the lights switch off fairly late at night. _Later than this?_ Rukia wondered, and Flippleberry sensed her question with his all knowing ears, and smirked, "Sometimes."

**At the same time the three girls were getting ready for beddy byes as they were setting up the room with blankets here, cushions there it was MAD! It was almost time to go to bed but they made a last minute decision, they would watch a film maybe**_** Harry Potter**_**? The older two are book nerds and the youngest has yet to read the last two! Well anyway Bethany was getting into her pyjamas and Maddie was setting up Bethany's bed and Eloise had already had hers set up as she was sleeping on the floor. Back to the story:**

Rukia felt a strange sensation of déjà vu as she peered in through the window at the girls laughing hysterically. A flash of recognition swept though her mind. _Where have I seen them before? _She desperately cast her mind back through the murky memories of her pre-ninja days, but couldn't place them. She almost felt sad, as if she'd forgotten something dear to her.

She heard hurrying footsteps behind her, and she crouched into a ninja pose behind a bush. As she heard the footsteps grow louder, she jumped out of her leafy hideaway, and onto the assailant's back, brandishing to their neck, her magic hobbit-stick. The assailant grunted "It's me, you nincompoop, Gandalfious!" He grunted, thrashing around, Rukia swinging from around his neck.

"Oh, I'm sorry; I thought you were attacking me!" Rukia blushed.

"That's OK, I'll leave you be and go check out the area then" he prized her arms from around his neck, placed her down (she was quite far from the ground after all) and turned to scope out the area.

"Uh-huh" Rukia turned back to the window and Ichigo walked away and her thoughts turned the mysterious girls she recognised.

To interrupt the tense atmosphere, **(this actually happened in real life as we were writing this and Eloise was squeezing Maddie's elbow...don't ask)** a metallic clang-crash-bang broke the silence. A monster tin can, from the next-door-neighbour's garden maybe. Or a shed? It was that loud! The stench of fake tan wafted through the **air (we weren't using it – it must have come in through the window. I think it's safe to say we have strange neighbours!)** and Rukia wrinkled her hobbity nose._ It must've been the plastic people falling over _she thought.

_Dear Mr Potter. The Ministry of Magic has received intelligence that you performed a Patronus Charm in the presence of a muggle... _Mafalda Hopkirk's whiney voice echoed through the open window, and caused Rukia to stick her head round the glass to look in.

**Now it's 00:49 and Maddie is brushing Eloise's hair, although just before Eloise couldn't decide what to do with Maddie's hair. In this Harry potter movie Harry is in court and has just had all his charges dropped from earlier in the film. Eloise's teddy bear**_** Sameelion**_** is just lying on her bed not moving at all! How strange. Memo for next time : lime cordial doesn't taste nice after toothpaste.**

**Bethany would just like to point out to those of you who actually read the very first sentence that we aren't still on Guitar Hero, we stopped on that a long time ago! But if you were reading properly, you would also have noticed that '**The Wii girls, whose identities later become known, packed up Guitar Hero and went on .**'. So in case you hadn't picked up on it, the bits in bold are real, and what we're saying to you, and the bits in non-bold are the story.**

Rukia could hear them laughing, and focused on them again, they were noticing Maggie Smith's impeccable depiction of Professor McGonnagal, and Alan Rickman as Snape, both (she heard them note) Incredibly good to the book. That recognition came back, she felt she should know this, as if she belonged in that room, discussing Harry Potter with them, for, despite being a Hobbit, she knew much about Harry Potter, and longed to have people to talk and banter about it to too.

Although he was looking over the surrounding area, Ichigo was keeping tabs on Rukia, to make sure she was okay; he cared deeply for his little hobbit. So when he sensed her melancholy yearning, he rushed back to the window and, in her reflection, saw a tiny tear dribble squeakily **(as opposed to 'silently' as they obviously don't always do according to Stephenie Meyer) **down her cheek. With all of his self-control, he suppressed the urge to wipe it away, take her in his arms and squeeze the sorrow out of her. When Rukia glanced up, she saw the smallest girl hiccupping uncontrollably and then the others trying weird 'remedies'. In the window, Rukia saw Strawberry behind her, and she angrily brushed the teardrop away as she whirled round to demand what he was doing watching her watch other people. Gandalfious mumbled an excuse, but Rukia shook her head and sighed heavily, before turning back to the window and ignoring him. Frustrated with her flippancy, anger bubbled up inside him, and he yelled, "LOOK AT ME!", as Harry yelled exactly the same line to Albus Dumbledore on the TV sceen.

**Experiments on hiccups: **

**The Breathey thing; breathing in really slowly, then breathing out really fast - as if you are spitting out Voldemort – fail. **

**The Lying on belly and hitting and massaging back thing; To lie on your belly whilst someone hit's/massages your back – fail. **

**The previous with strange Breathey things (Kinda explains it itself) – fail **

**Trying to touch head to toes on belly whilst doing the breathey thing – fail (but that might be because of the laughingness) Oh wait...what's this... it WORKED! The 'touchy belly toe breathey thing' is now the official cure for hiccups – but not the kind of thing you'd want to do in an exam, but fine if you're at home reading this!**

**I really don't know what to write – Eloise**

Rukia snorted with laughter and faced Ichigo with mock seriousness. His anger faded slowly and he began to chuckle himself. But the sudden outburst of noise had startled not only the girls in the room watching Harry Potter, but Gelbert the dog, the tortoise-shell kitten, Watermelon; the crow and Aizemortomortomortio, the hairy man **(whose name we can't say and we change every time for the sake of it). **Gelbert and Watermelon ran to the window, whilst the crow flew away in terror at the sound of happiness. Aizemoldemotrtomortomortinio jogged (as this was as fast as he could travel; all of his hairiness weighs him down, so he can't run very fast – aerodynamics and all that) towards the sound of the laughing.

The three girls looked up sharply, and the most idiotically brave (she is brave at all the wrong times) poked her head round the window, as she thought she heard the sound of a fellow ninja. The other grabbed a katana, hidden in the wardrobe, and the third grabbed her nunchucks.

**It is now really dark in here we have finally gone to bed, even though we haven't finished the movie we are going to watch the rest tomorrow. The time now is 2:06 am by the way - pretty early if I don't say so myself. All I can hear is 'whisper whisper' from Bethany and Maddie across the room. Bethany just got freaked out by me flashing her torch around the room. Soon after, I jumped under her covers because Bethany went 'Wooooo'! It's getting really late now so we might have to stop soon or maybe just slooowwww dooowwwnn aaa biittt.**

They heard a quiet scuffle outside the window. Pushing the window as far wide open as it would go, Bethany crouched on the windowsill then jumped out into the garden, followed closely by Maddie and Eloise. They crept through the garden and Eloise scuttled to a bush at the foot of a tall oak. She hid herself in it, as Maddie and Bethany climbed up the oak tree to disguise themselves amongst the leaves. Rukia and Ichigo heard the soft thuds of the jumping and creeping and climbing, and watched the girls act like ninja. Then Rukia realised. They were ninja too. **(LOL) **Ichigo – I mean Gandalfious - was baffled; his head turning from left to right, flabbergasted with the noises. "OI- MMPH!" Rukia quickly clamped his mouth with a hand, she whispered furiously "You t'is one Nincompoop above the rest Kurosaki Ichigo, SHUT your MOUTH!" But Ichigo wasn't the only one making a noise. In Bethany's pocket, her mobile suddenly blared 'The Wind Cries Mary': her ringtone**. (really good song actually!) **Everybody turned to stare at the source of Jimi Hendrix, so Bethany threw her phone onto the floor to try and push the blame onto someone else. The Wind Cries Mary was still playing, and Gandalfious started to hum along. Rukia just stared incredulously at him as the others tried to find the source of the humming which was attuned to the song.

**Now I think everyone is quite tiredish actually, so this might by the last one for tonight But still we will carry on tomorrow in the morning (Me and Bethany had become quite obsessed with 'The wind cries Mary' after playing it lot's on guitar hero xD) **

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><p>Okay, so that's chapter one, what did you guys think? Oh, and While three of us first wrote this story, it's more likely that only Me and Beth will carry it on (And there probably wont be any more 'updates' because most of this is going to be discussed over email - that is of course if you guys like it enough) so tell us what you think, and any suggestions will be dearly appreciated xD<p> 


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